B Speak

My office is a fun place to work, because my colleagues are fun people. While everyone is insanely busy and stressed, we all manage to maintain good attitudes. The thing is, I don't work in the corporate world. But there is someone in my office who thinks she does. And it's driving me--and everyone else--crazy. A typical type-A personality, her high pitched voice and constant barking of commands have made some (no, I can't take credit) label her The Chihuahua.

I'll refer to her as Yo Quero.

Yo Quero likes to use big words in order to make herself seem important and businesslike. Terms like "maximizing opportunities" and "creating dialogues" are thrown out (repeatedly) in meetings at the drop of a hat. I like to call this B Speak. (B=business, in case you had to ask.)

Yo Quero also likes to call a lot of meetings. You know, so she can use her B Speak. My department has a standing weekly meeting with another department, to make sure everything's being taken care of. Yo Quero got wind of this meeting and decided that she, and about three or four other departments, should be a part of it as well.

So we had our regularly scheduled meeting today, only it was no longer our meeting. It was Yo Quero's meeting. Not only did she insist that she "called it" (um, hello), she also wanted the meeting to be run by the director of another department--much to the shock of said totally unprepared director. So the function of our meeting today was to plan for next week's meeting.

I'm not kidding.

All I can say is I had to try very hard in this meeting planning meeting not to
-- crack up due to the hilariousness of the situation and Yo Quero's wacko intensity
-- roll my eyes too obviously as Yo Quero was sitting on the other side of the table
-- throw any available object at Yo Quero's head