for the love of god, please come to the reunion!

i'm paraphrasing, of course, but that was pretty much the jist of the invite i received in the mail last week. yes, is that's time: my 10 year high school reunion is just around the corner.

on the outside of the envelope, in big letters: "The FINAL Invite! Discount Date Is Extended!"

in the envelope, several pieces of paper, including places to fill out your info, packages to order (memory books, etc), an option to arrive after 9 PM ("We would rather see you at our reunion than not at all... Take advantage of the special package, you only miss the food!")

but this was the kicker. and i am typing this exactly as it appears:

WHY GO TO MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION:
WHY NOT?
What have you got to lose?
How often do you get to see all of your old friends
in one night from 10 years ago?
It will be a memory that will last FOREVER!
You will NEVER have a 10 Year Reunion EVER again!
You only spend money on reunions every 10 years.
To see what everyone has been up to.
Who cares if you're not a millionaire yet!
Show your school spirit!
We're not in high school anymore, we've matured since!
The reunion is about your life NOW!
There is nothing better coming along on Saturday, November 24th!
Everyone changes in 10 years, come see for yourself.
We're all adults now.
You have known some classmates since kindergarten!
There are a lot of classmates attending who want to see YOU there!
WHY NOT!!!!!!!!!???????????

this just reeks of desperation. i wonder who pushed for the 9 exclamation points and 11 question marks on that last line.